Productivity Secret of Saying No

Stop spending time searching for Time.

Everyone has the same 24 hours. How you use it is the problem.

You can not solve all problems for everyone. This means that you should know your limit. Some people always want to encroach on your time by saying "can you do this for me". Please those that you can't do, you should say "no" politely. Those we can do we should say so swiftly.

The Danger of being a Yes Person

But yes is a dangerous habit to fall into. Saying yes here and there might seem harmless. But all those little yeses add up. They compound on each other, and they can transform a decisive strategy with clear objectives into an all-you-can-eat buffet of tactics and activities with no common goal. It can complicate your life. It gives you unrelated tasks to do. More so unrelated to your goal.

The true cost of yes is far greater than most of us realize. When we say yes to the small things, we're also saying yes to switching costs. We're saying yes to scope creep. We're saying yes to shipping late.

Falling into the habit of yes is like running a marathon where every three miles you decide to run in a different direction for a quarter-mile before getting back on course.

The habit of yes means never crossing the finish line before your competitors, or worse yet, never crossing at all.

Everyone wants to be respectful of their co-workers but invariably saying yes to every request is disrespectful to the company. Yes leads to mediocrity. Yes is execution's Achilles heel.

An Achilles heel is a weakness despite overall strength, which can lead to downfall. While the mythological origin refers to a physical vulnerability, idiomatic references to other attributes or qualities that can lead to downfall are common.

Yes is a non-confrontational cop-out. It circumvents the reality that we need to make hard choices.

Ultimately, yes isn't respectful. Yes is the insidious business killer.

How can you develop the habit of saying no? These are some of the tips :

Treat it like a muscle. In other words, flex the habit of saying no a little bit every day. And like any habit, once you repeat the behaviour continuously over time, it will feel more natural to you.

Let's move from the how to the when.

When can you practice saying no?

Here are 7 situations (and reasons) to use as opportunities for saying no.

When you need more time. This goes for situations when you're asked to do something immediately but you already have other obligations. For example, you're asked to run an errand early in the morning, but if you do you'll be late for an important meeting. In this case, it's better to proceed with caution than to over-commit and then rush to work unprepared. Not sure? Try responding with, "No, but I could help at a later time if that's an option?" and wait to get clarification.

When you need space. Sometimes you are invited to events you don't want to attend, especially when it means having even less time to spend with your family or a partner. You have so many hours of work or school, so you need to be strategic with your free time. Instead of going out every night on weekends, try dedicating more time to yourself by investing it in a personal project, reading more, or just hanging out and having a relaxing time at home with your sibling, spouse, or close friend.

When advice is not welcome. There will always be people in your life (both close to you and those just passing through) who will offer their piece of advice. Just because you're talking to them and devoting some time to the conversation does not mean you should heed their advice. Why? Because so much of the advice you're given is biased and based on life experiences which may (or may not) coincide with your own. Use your critical thinking skills to discern what needs more of your attention because it's relevant to your life, from what is not important and can be dismissed with a polite "thank you" before you move on.

When you receive a request to act in a way that goes against your value system. Sometimes you'll be asked to do something, from supporting a family member who acts in a harmful way towards someone else, to ignoring the unethical behaviour of a co-worker at the office. And even though you may think that it's easy enough to pull it off at the moment, you should ask yourself if doing so would go against your own life goals and the values you were raised with. Don't put yourself in a situation where you look back with regret and when you might not like seeing your reflection in the mirror the next day.

When your gut tells you it's a bad idea. Maybe everyone in your social circle will urge you to do something, be with someone, or go somewhere. It may sound appealing at first glance. Maybe even those closest to you might believe it strongly. It may be that you "should" get a degree in a specific subject or you "must" pick someone as a life partner, however, the very thought of it fills you with dread. The truth is, nobody else will lead your life for you; you will. So support yourself all the way. Learn to trust your gut. Say no if it does not support your goal.

Say No when you anticipate you'll feel a huge sense of relief for saying it. Don't confuse this with the relief that comes with saying no to fulfilling an obligation. It's more like being focused on what you should be thinking, which is always at least two steps ahead. If you believe you're procrastinating about something or just postponing giving a response (but you know you'll have to do it eventually), then actually coming out and saying no will feel like a big burden sliding off your shoulders. And there's nothing wrong with saying no in such a situation.

When you want to have more ownership of your life. Let's face it: we are social animals. We will be surrounded by people most of our lives, and chances are that many of them will ask us to do things, say things, act in a certain way, pick them over someone else, spend time with them, or give them the attention that they need at any given moment.

Remember: just because people demand things from us does not mean we always should give in. Don't go the passive route and say yes to things just because you haven't figured out a good way to say no, and then blame the person later for wasting hours or even days or months of your life. Passivity can easily slip into bitterness, sarcasm, and a negative outlook that can drown out any real effort to make a positive change towards becoming the best version of yourself. So do yourself a favour: be strategic with your time starting today, and practice saying no whenever you feel it's the right thing for you.

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